Introduction
Hey there!
It has been quite some time since my last writing.
This time I’m here to give a little life update — the first one over here.
In the last year a lot has happened, and I’d like to talk openly about it since it makes me feel better in the first place.
But before starting, I have to add a note: this post will interlace my life update with a character from Dark Souls that I like a lot, called Gael.
Why though? Because I felt like him in recent times, connecting the dots looking backwards.
So without any further ado, let’s deep dive into my story.
At The Gates Of The Ringed City
This chapter is called “At The Gates Of The Ringed City”, a place where Gael goes during a certain moment in history in order to find what he was looking for: the Dark Soul.
This special thing would allow him — and an important person to him — to make a painting of a world.
A new world where people could just… live.
Yes, live, because the world in which the game is set is full of pain and death.
Now, we can think about this soul just like something to make also my own painting: not necessarily a new world, but a paintbrush to change something in this one we live in and add something we can call value. A deep value.
So in the last year, I’ve reached my personal Ringed City — a company that I co-founded and to which I put my dreams, hopes, and effort to make it bloom as the paintbrush we’ve been talking about a little earlier.
The Long Walk Through Ash
With all set up, I started taking this long walk through what was meant as the right path.
I put the work in, faced struggles of various types (not only technical), and tried to form what was the best path possible in conjunction with who I was at the time and what I could do.
Just like Gael: a simple slave, trying to save the world with what he could afford.
The thing is that not every walk leads to a beautiful ending or panorama.
Sometimes, like how it happens to be in Dark Souls, this long road shows the truth that your eyes can’t see: an infinite land of ash with just… nothing. Only emptiness.
And how many times does that happen to all of us, right?
We pursue a road that we think is the best for us, but sooner or later we realize that the magic was only in our eyes… painting a world full of colors.
The Moment Before The Blood
When you reach this exact moment in your life, life itself gives you a choice.
You can turn around, retrace your steps, learn from failures and find another way — or you can simply drink what remains of what you were looking for.
You just settle for the drops. And that’s what Gael did.
Arrived at this gigantic land of ash, he decided to take what’s left of the Dark Soul (its blood) and drink it for the pain of the reality proposed to him.
Later on, that blood will corrupt him — just like society tries to do to us with what’s meant to be right in the work world.
At this time, I stopped and tried to think about a different ending.
Do I need to end corrupted as Gael or… is there another way?
So I parted ways from what in principle I thought was the best for me and decided to find an alternative paintbrush. An alternative Dark Soul.
Another Painting
At the moment of writing, I still don’t know what this other painting I’m trying to bring to life will be, but as I like to say (thanks Jurassic Park):
“Life finds a way.”
And so do I.
But here’s what I do know: I want this painting to reflect who I am when no one’s watching.
Not who I’m expected to be, not what a title says I should be, and not the shape someone else carved for me.
I want this painting to be made of:
- quiet mornings without anxiety,
- curiosity that doesn’t burn me out,
- projects that don’t bleed purpose dry,
- and connections that nourish, not drain.
It may take time. It may not be grand. But it’ll be mine.
Maybe your brush looks different. Maybe you’re still in the ashlands. But if you’ve got anything left — even just a spark — you can still choose to paint something better.
Even Gael, in all his madness, made something beautiful in the end.
I just don’t want to die to do it.
Conclusion
Without entering into deeply personal details, I wanted to write about this life experience for various reasons.
The main one is to share with you a deep thinking I had and to which I know a lot of you can relate, since I’m not the only one looking for a better world out there.
We all live pain, we are all being misunderstood at some point in our lives by someone, but the key here is to find meaning in ourselves and not try to find the capro espiatorio to lighten our burden.
Keep being beautiful as you are and when you’re facing reality, don’t necessarily do as Gael: turn back and look at how wonderful the world can still be.
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